The Kindergarten days are long past us, where the playground became the biggest adventure from the wild jungle escaping lions to the fortress defending our loved ones from the enemy. However, I can almost swear the dating world is legit KG 2.0 – personally vouching from my own experiences and from tales heard by best of friends while laughing our tails off (you see what I did there? Stroke of genius).
Somethings just don’t work anymore…. yet it seems the lessons from Kindergarten are still fresh on our minds and in full force. So though I’m all for letting your imagination run a boundless, creative path and building tents with your comforters and always letting your inner child come out and play, I just as fully believe these 5 little things need to dropped like it’s hot so that we can all live in a better world (unless you are currently in Kindergarten. Then keep at it, little soul).
1) Bullying of any shape or form. But more so bullying as a method of flirting. Seriously, by dogging on everything I like to “show” me that you like me is not cutting it. I didn’t even ever like the guy who pulled my hair in Kindergarten so I definitely don’t like it now. In fact, if you do this just know I’m annoyed of you and planning an emergency getaway because yes, my pet fish is actually drowning. In short, compliments will get you much, much further, my friend
2) Using the word “sorry” as a sad excuse to repeat bad behavior and then think we are all friends, running in a field of posies. I can just imagine you as the child who used to push the defenseless little girl down and look her dead in the eye and say sorry, only to not help her back to her feet, and then do it again when she gets up while still holding her to the high expectation of sharing her candy with you. Honey, you better back away from my sweets, real fast.
3) The spelling trick I blame all teachers for forcing on us: “Pronounce it Out.” Because don’t. Actually learn the word and use spell check and write it correctly. You have the whole world at your disposal to properly use there, their and they’re in a text. And, hello, Cortana and Siri both will gladly type the hard, long words for you if you just ask her. So no, do not pronounce it out.
4) Being indecisive. I get we all want to do everything and more all at the same time, but learn to make a decision and then stick to your guns. Your mommy isn’t going to be able to fix it for you anymore and make everything alright so take a moment to think through it. Because if you affirmatively say one thing, you cannot expect something else. Pigs don’t fly, and neither does this.
5) And lastly, long gone are the days of falling in love and getting married all within record speed during one recess hour. I’m so guilty of this (as is Kim Kardashian) but be ok with taking things slowly and seeing how things unravel themselves with no expectations. You may be left pleasantly surprised and, when every moment together is wonderful and great, it’s like a recess that doesn’t ever end so you don’t have to rush yourself through the motions.
Now if you can successfully do all this, congratulations on graduating and making your way to first grade,
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