It wouldn’t be fair to start a new year without paying tribute to the days-of-happiness, selfie-obsessed, secret-swifty-singalongs and Ebola ridden year known as 2014. It was probably one of the quickest years yet… but maybe its just a part of getting older that time keeps flying by.
So here goes. This is probably one of the harder (and longer) posts to write because I have to confess in a dark personal secret: in the beginning of the year, I literally had no faith or hope in 2014 or in my life in general. I started off pretty broken with only one resolution, fix it. That easily defined what this year was going to look like, the year of me.
I went through some big changes in 2013 and I realized this was the time that I needed to be selfish and focus on myself. Find the ground beneath me. That meant I had to let go of negativity and focus on everything I wanted to be, see and do. I needed to love myself first and find my own happiness. I fully believe that you just cannot love anyone else, be proud of anything, get anything done (hence the lowest amount of posts this year to date) without first and fully loving yourself. You have to be a full 1 before you can ever be a 2, whether that +1 is your bf, your bff, your job, god or family and SO ON AND ON AND ON…. you have to define yourself first before you work on the other relationships in life. That’s what I did. And there is no formula for this except that the end result is worth it the personal journey, no matter how long it takes.
Short summary. When you feel like you are left alone in the dark, that becomes the most humbling and defining period of your life and I cannot be more appreciative for who I am now and for the people in my life.
To my loving parents and sisters (and brother benji), I couldn’t imagine our relationship being any stronger, better, or happier. The place we are in now, I wouldn’t have ever guessed. I know things are going to change this coming year as we chase our dreams, but one thing is certain, we have each other no matter what to brighten our days for the rest of our lives.
For the friends that came along my emotional bumpy roller coaster, thank you. I couldn’t have without you. I know I wasn’t perfect this year, I know I dragged and showed you my lows, talked too much about irrelevant sh*t that bogged me down and you put up with me. Not everyone did, and I love you more than ever for being patient. For the late night conversations about nothing but everything, for laughing so hard and for the leaning shoulder to cry it out… like that one time at brunch, while we told the table next to us, “these girls are my bridesmaids,” “oh really, when are you getting married….,” “oh we aren’t… but they’re my bridesmaids.”
To my BATPers, thanks for visiting me in my little creative corner of the internet. Giving me a purpose to move forward with each post. This blog has become my little baby – which neglected at times – I could never give it up and you wouldn’t let me.
And then to the Man upstairs (how cliche am I right now? I know, I know) I’ve come to trust your decisions. There is a bigger plan out there and thanks for the guiding light. AND OF COURSE, to my self as I continue being cliche, here we are and there we go with strength in your heart and happiness in your bones, being true to yourself. Don’t let the little things define you and always let the things go that disturb the peace of your heart.