With the largest award show behind us there were three things every wide-eyed and big-dreaming girl has learned: 1) Ties should be broken with something… anything. Thumb war? Coin Flip? Fight to the Death #HungerGames 2) We should always fall gracefully on our faces so Bradley Cooper and Hugh Jackman come running to save you and 3) It’s so easy, a 9 year old can be nominated for an Oscar and technically you are 15 years behind.
And then there were times we just can’t figure out why these people haven’t learned a thing or two after multiple O’s? Maybe it’s because they don’t know how to operate Twitter and don’t understand their audience? Some love letters to ease the pain.
Dear Kristen Stewart’s Publicist – Home girl looks more cracked out than ever. Why is she the most unhappiest gazillionaire to exist? Next time, make up stories why the girl can’t attend (social awkwardLess classes?) and save.your.self. or try some sunglasses and peachy cheeks? It might help.
Dear Jennifer Aniston’s Publicist – Congratulations on a lasting 20 year relationship. Nothing’s changed. We can tell.
Dear Renee Zellweger’s Publicist – I mean the Oscars was probably the worst time possible to go almode makeup. At least some lip gloss? What’s the deal with the lack of beautification? It’s the Oscar’s Sunday not some going-grocery-shopping-after-work day
Whose publicist would you like to give a shout out to?
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